Religion Poisons Everything

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In today's modern world, what's the use of religion? It's simply old-fashioned superstition. Stories from the Bible are fairy tales. We don't need rituals like baptism and communion. Worse yet, fanatics from one religion kill extremists from another. Church leaders abuse children and steal money. Religion makes people stupid and evil. Jesus was a nice guy, but God's just not for me.

When you hear talk like that, it seems that belief in God is becoming rare these days. Maybe you have family members or friends who talk like this. Perhaps, although it is hard to admit it, you have heard doubts like this in your own mind.

Many Christians, even leaders and clergy, doubt but continue to come to church out of tradition, guilt, or fear. At times, we wish we could believe in Jesus Christ but don't. Church is boring; we think, “When will this service end so I can go home and watch my the game?" When we pray, we fear that no one out there is listening. Our prayer life is reduced to a quick “Our Father,” before bed just to cover our bases in case we die in our sleep. We think, "God, why did you take away my faith? Why don't I feel good when I pray anymore?” At times of doubt, religious practice stops giving us the comfort and assurance that we need.

But we want our piety to give us some happiness, comfort, or security. We enjoy beautiful worship and music. We meet new and interesting people at coffee hour. Being a Christian makes me feel like a respectable member of society, and reassures me that when I die I’ll go to heaven.

The comfort and assurance that comes from church, prayer, and Christian fellowship is great help in getting through our daily struggles. We all need the social support that we find in Christian fellowship. Yet when my religious practice stops giving me the comfort I want, my mixed motives are revealed. Maybe I've been using my religion selfishly. Maybe I use my piety to avoid or smooth over the rough spots in my life. When I’m caught off guard by fear of death, I start thinking about heaven as quick as I can, so that I don’t have to admit my mortality.

Times of doubt show us, in short, our childish and superficial approach to God. The use of religion to control our level of comfort is not real faith in Christ.

It seems that God sometimes allows a Christian’s piety to be removed for a season. This is not so that the Christian leaves the church and gives up on God. Rather, these times of doubt can be opportunities for spiritual growth. If we are honest and humble, sharing our thoughts with someone else, a pastor or a trusted friend, a period of doubt can be the time when false piety and magical thinking are removed. We can move from selfish piety to trust in Christ.

With honesty and humility, we can ask the Lord for help, even when he feels far away; we learn to rely more fully on Him. After all, I do not create God by my own piety. Reliance on our own piety gives way to real trust. We begin to trust that Jesus is Lord of the universe, and loves all humankind. Times of doubt are an opportunity to turn away from the false self and turn towards the true self, Jesus Christ.

When we learn, little by little, to trust in Jesus Christ rather than our own unaided will, we let ourselves be guided by Him. We let him take care of all those problems we see around us. It’s a relief not to be in the driver’s seat. Surely the creator and savior of all will be a better manager of my life than I will be. Guided by God’s will, we find joy and comfort that we couldn’t find when we were trying to control our lives.

Spiritually pwned

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Several years ago, while I still aspired to be a theology scholar, I was in the midst of finals. This is a stressful time. With papers to complete, and exams to prepare for, there are many opportunities to practice being anxious and overwhelmed. I knew that my perfectionism lay behind much of my stress. If I hadn't been so worried to produce a perfect piece of writing, or ace an exam, I would be far more relaxed.

I was speaking about this with someone I had recently met, wallowing in the self-pity and drama of the finals season. I mentioned that I wanted to stop being a perfectionist but didn't know how. 

"Do you know what I do when I'm acting like a perfectionist?" he asked me.

"No, what?" I replied, wondering what esoteric psychological technique he employed.

"I ask God to help me do it imperfectly," was his answer.

This man, I don't even know what his religion was, provided such a simple and humble answer to my dilemma. I, with my multiple theology degrees, had overlooked the obvious. Pwned.

Why Confess?

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Why should I confess my sins? To be honest, I'm often not sure what's a sin and what isn't. Is it a sin to get angry? Sure, if I lose my temper and start swearing and screaming--that seems to be a sin. But feeling angry at someone who insults me--that's natural, isn't it? What's a sin anyway? Do I need to confess every temptation and passing thought? 

And after all, doesn't God know my mistakes? He's supposed to know everything, right? I can't hide anything from him anyway, so why should I dredge up all that garbage from the past?

And to go to a priest and tell him all this stuff? Are you kidding me? My pastor's the last one I want to know all that embarrassing stuff! I've got to be on my best behavior in church. If anyone knew what went on in my life and in my mind, they would never speak to me again.

My mind gives me many reasons not to reveal my failings to someone else. Yet the wisdom of our elders tells us that revealing our darkest secrets to someone else is an important step in our spiritual journey.

A young man who wanted to join a monastery in the golden age of Egyptian monasticism had to spend a year under the guidance of an elder. In that year, the would-be monk was not to trust in his own judgment but was to reveal every thought and temptation to the elder. This was not some sadistic hazing, but practice in complete honesty and openness. Without transparency, no one can progress in the spiritual life. If temptations remain secret, they maintain their power over us.*

Honesty is like looking into the cellar. We may be frightened the first time we open the cellar door, but if we have someone else there with us, it's not so scary. When we open the door and turn on the light, we have a clear view of what spiders, insects, mice, and dust bunnies are there. With the help of a friend, and the grace of God, we can start to clean out the cellar little by little.

Those of us who wish to be freed from the hold that sinful thoughts and habits have over us benefit from frequently admitting our faults and temptations to someone we trust. Those who belong to a church that includes sacramental or regular confession have ready access to someone who will listen confidentially. Others may have to look harder for a friend or professional whom they can trust. Until we find someone we can confide in, we might try writing down our secrets in a journal, just to practice being honest and open. Psychologists and saints both recommend writing at times. Even if we confess formally at church, sometimes speaking to a trusted friend or writing in a journal may be helpful between confessions.

If openness and honesty open the door to the fruits of the spirit, perhaps it's worth a little embarrassment. Time for confession?

*John Cassian, Institutes, 4. IX and XXXVII

Ordinary Holiness

Every once in a while, a candid video finds its way around the internet. Videos like this show people in unguarded situations, where they are not trying to look good or put on a show. Sometimes these videos are embarrassing or scandalous. Sometimes they are cute or touching. These videos fascinate us because they reveal human beings at the most vulnerable and intimate moments.

Recently, a video (above) of an elderly married couple accidentally recording themselves on their webcam has become popular. At moments it is funny, as when the husband makes a monkey face, and sings "Hello my baby...." while the wife gently allows him be silly. At times it is rather intimate, as when he makes clear he still finds his wife beautiful and attractive. At one point, she starts to get frustrated with herself for not understanding the software, and he responds gently, "You'll do fine, you'll learn."

This married couple seems to be comfortable and safe together. There is no criticism, manipulation, or impatience here. I am sure that at other times in this couple's life there is conflict and sadness, as in all marriages. But in these two minutes and fifty-six seconds, there seems to be none of that. Their words and manner suggest a great love for one another.

The kingdom of heaven peeks in at surprising times if we look for it.

I don't have enough time to pray

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I have no time to pray. I have two young children, a demanding academic schedule, a wife who has a full time job, an internship, friendships to maintain, dinner to cook, clothes to wash, groceries to get, choir practice, exercise...and today I have to take the car for an oil change. I can say the Lord's Prayer real quick and I'm always at church Sunday morning, but I just don't have time to really pray, read Scripture, or be silent in the presence of God.

I often imagine that if I was a monk, then I'd really have time to pray. I wouldn't have kids running around needing their noses wiped while I'm trying to commune with the Creator of all. I could leave behind the cares of the world, and sit quietly enjoying the divine presence.

But now, in the midst of life, I just don't have time to pray. Or do I?

On of the earliest experts on the spiritual life, John Cassian, wrote about the zealous monks in Egypt in a book called The Institutes. The life of these monks was one of extreme austerity. They fasted often and slept little. In the night, the monks would come together to pray Psalms and read Scripture. Then each would retire to his own cell to continue his own prayer.

Cassian makes it clear that the monk would work while he prayed. As the monk braided rope or wove baskets he kept his inner meditation. He tried to keep his mind attentive on the heart, rather than daydreaming, worrying, fantasizing, remembering, or giving in to various mental temptations. Continual labor was not a hindrance to "prayer time." Rather toil was an "anchor" which kept the heart at peace.

This stillness of the heart is the freedom from sin that we all aim for. It is the first step in real communion with Jesus Christ. If Cassian is correct, it is within our reach.

It may be more difficult to maintain inner stillness with all worries of family life or career life. We may benefit from set-apart and scheduled time for prayer and meditation on Scripture. Yet, we may follow the example of the Egyptian monks and work towards inner stillness while we labor.

I do have enough time to pray.

(John Cassian, Institutes, Book 2, XIV)

What's the use?

This is a photograph of a sloth.

One day Anthony, a monk, was overcome by thoughts of hopelessness and lack of motivation. He thought he'd give up his monastic life, and go get a job and get married. As he observed negative thoughts beginning to overwhelm him, he cried to the Lord, "I want to stay here and find salvation, but my thoughts keep suggesting that it's all futile. What's the use? How shall I be saved from these disturbing thoughts?"

Once again, an answer was presented to him. He saw a man sitting, weaving baskets, then getting up to pray. He continued to work and pray, work and pray. Anthony heard a voice, "This is what you should do to be saved from your disturbing thoughts." His hopelessness gave way to joy and hope. Anthony continued to work and pray, and watch over his heart, and his troublesome thoughts left him. He was saved from his anguish by a gentle vision giving him simple instructions for living.

When faced with temptation, Anthony had some choices. Should he give in to the negative thoughts that disturbed his peace, and urged him to give up the monastic life? Or should he simply "man up" and force the thoughts away? He knew that he was not strong enough to combat these thoughts on his own. He liked to tell other monks "Do not trust in your own righteousness." In other words, "You're not as strong, upright, and moral as you think you are. You need help, and so do I." Knowing the futility of fighting against temptation on his own strength, he neither gave in to his negative thoughts nor relied on his own strength to save him. He called out for help from the one who is strong enough to help--the Lord.

Seeing his own helplessness in the face of disturbing thoughts forced Anthony to rely on the Lord. Ironically, his helplessness was the gateway to victory over those temptations. Anthony liked to say to his fellow monks, "We all need temptations to be saved." Temptations, if we watch for them, provide an opportunity to ask God for help, and rely more fully on Him. Temptations can break down that harsh master, our own ego. Temptations can produce humility and compassion, and we need them to mature and become closer and more like Jesus Christ.

(Stories taken from Benedicta Ward. Sayings of the Desert Fathers: The Alphabetical Collection. Kalamazoo: Cistercian Publications, 1975, pp. 1-9.)

Vigilance

The Temptation of St. Anthony -Salvador Dali

One day, a monk named Anthony was sitting in his cave, weaving his baskets, pondering the state of the world. He was thinking about suffering, injustice, and poverty. He started to get bothered and a little bit angry. How can an all-powerful and loving God allow such suffering stain the His beautiful universe? In his righteous irritation, he prayed, "Lord why do some people die as babies, yet others live long lives. Why do some men starve on the street while others eat and drink their fill in palaces? Why does a good man work hard all his life and die penniless while a wicked man gets rich off the labor of his slaves?"

Anthony heard a voice answer him. "Anthony, keep your focus on yourself. All things are according to God's plan, and it will not help you to know the answers to your questions."

The voice did not answer Anthony's concerns. Anthony did not find out why suffering and injustice exists. The answer suggested Anthony should change where his attention was focused. In effect, the voice said "You will never know the answers to your questions, and even if you did, it would not help you. Instead of agonizing over these philosophical dilemmas, be vigilant over your own heart and mind to make sure that you do not become one of those wicked men you're complaining about. 'The good man out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure produces evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.' (Luke 7.45) If you continue to focus on the evil of other men, you will fill your heart with anger and resentment and risk becoming just like them."

Anthony spent his life watching over his heart and mind. He saw that the mind is nearly continuously presented with opportunities to be angry, hateful, greedy, lustful, proud, judgmental, gluttonous, depressed, and self-absorbed. Even though Anthony had great success in keeping evil thoughts at bay, he was tempted until the day of his death. These temptations did not hinder him from becoming a holy man. Ironically, as we shall see, temptations became the way he acquired holiness.

(Stories taken from Benedicta Ward. Sayings of the Desert Fathers: The Alphabetical Collection. Kalamazoo: Cistercian Publications, 1975, pp. 1-9.)